Not weight. Wait. Lord knows there’s plenty I could do with that.
But I digress.
It’s been a very interesting couple of years. Lots of ups, lots of downs and lots of in-betweens. I must admit that processing through the gamut of emotions attached to such a roller coaster ride has left me feeling a bit drained most days.
Not depressed. Or anxious. Just drained.
God told us to move to NC to plant a church. That was June 2014. For the next year, we were moving at a pretty steady pace. Moving states, starting a church plant from scratch, Zoe back to public school, Shannon back to job hunting and trying to build relationships in a brand new community where we knew no one.
Then, everything changed. Things slowed down. People came. People left.
Now, we are at the end of 2016 – over 2 years since the process started and almost 2 years living in a new place – and it seems we are back to square one. Not always a great feeling. But sometimes a necessary one. Today, in this moment, we find ourselves asking the hard questions again. “What’s next? What will work? What do You want us to do? When are You going to tell us?”
Then we wait.
We wait for answers to those hard questions.
We practice what we teach and preach to everyone we come in contact with. When you don’t know what to do next, wait.
Waiting isn’t lazy. Waiting doesn’t mean you aren’t hearing from Him or He’s ignoring you. Waiting simply means you are actively making room for Him to speak to You when the timing is right. It means that you are open to the process of the wait. It means you keep doing what you know to do and trust that in His timing, He will tell you the next step.
That is hard sometimes.
Personally, I’m not a fan of the waiting. I think that can be said of most all humans. Okay, okay, okay, maybe there are a few
weird people who do, but in general, no thank you.
Yet I’m finding that so much can happen in the waiting.
What Happens in the Wait
- In the waiting, I take the time to allow my roots to go deep – deep in Him, His Word and His promises, confident that He will reveal what we need to know in His timing.
- In the waiting, I lean on the truths of His word. It’s a choice I make every day. I choose to believe His silence doesn’t mean He is gone. I choose to believe His timing is better than mine. I choose to believe that He sees me and knows me. I choose to lean in to the promises He’s made even though I can’t see them coming. It’s a choice. Not a feeling.
- In the waiting, I learn that it’s okay to sit back in the atmosphere of the unknown and rest. I can sleep on the boat, even though the storm is raging all around me, because He is there. So while I wait, I’m at peace and at perfect rest.
- In the waiting, I deal with the ungodly belief that others’ expectations of us are what determines our successes or failures. Yep. That happens. “What if people think we’re failing? What if they think less of us?” Those thoughts are real. They happen. And we have to bring them captive. I learn to accept that in saying the big Yes, in just showing up and being available to Him, whatever the purpose and plan, is a success in His eyes and that’s all that matters.
- In the waiting, I learn to deal with any orphan issues that creep up – those things that separate me from accepting and believing that I am FULLY loved and accepted by my Father before I ever do or say or accomplish anything.
Waiting isn’t really a down time at all. It’s actually a very active process. Every moment of our lives has purpose and meaning and lessons to be learned. And I’m determined to make the most of my wait. Are you?
How are you doing with your wait?