my heart constricts with fear
and yet i hear myself say
that it’s okay – that it will
be okay
but will it be okay, Papa?
will You help me through
the murky, uncharted
waters that seem to
crash over my heart
drowning out the very
life You gave me that
seems to be slipping
from my grasp in
slow motion but still
all too quickly for my
comfort or wish or desire.
oh, i know. i know that
“this too shall pass” and
the moment will be but
a memory one day soon.
but until then, will You
hold me, comfort me,
remind me that she
belongs to You?
that she was never really
mine to begin with – only
loaned to me for a while
to be treasured, loved
yes, i know. she is Yours
and for that I am so so
so incredibly grateful
and humbled You shared
her with me. me.
messed up, screwed up me.
so i give her back – and this
time, this time I really mean it.
