matters of worship

a psalm of mary | no. 19

January 31, 2012 By Mary Hess

my heart constricts with fear
and yet i hear myself say
that it’s okay – that it will
be okay

but will it be okay, Papa?
will You help me through
the murky, uncharted
waters that seem to

crash over my heart
drowning out the very
life You gave me that
seems to be slipping

from my grasp in
slow motion but still
all too quickly for my
comfort or wish or desire.

oh, i know. i know that
“this too shall pass” and
the moment will be but
a memory one day soon.

but until then, will You
hold me, comfort me,
remind me that she
belongs to You?

that she was never really
mine to begin with – only
loaned to me for a while
to be treasured, loved

yes, i know. she is Yours
and for that I am so so
so incredibly grateful
and humbled You shared

her with me. me.
messed up, screwed up me.
so i give her back – and this
time, this time I really mean it.

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mary did you know?

December 22, 2011 By Mary Hess

I wonder how Mary felt
when she realized that
she was pregnant,
having never been
married, much less
had a sexual relationship
with a man.

I wonder how Mary felt
when she realized that
she had been chosen,
hand-picked by Papa
God to carry His
Son and give birth
to the King of kings.

What went through her mind
as she lay there in that stable
in agony, pain, fear, frustration
knowing she was giving birth
to the Messiah and had to lay
Him in a feed trough that was
probably dirty, smelly and
uncomfortable?

What did she think about the
Star, the shepherds, the
Wise men who made their
way to Jesus to give Him
Glory? This tiny little
baby, this small child
that would soon give His
very life to save mankind?

Did she really know?
Did she understand?

Christmas never passes that I don’t recall this beautiful song.
It touches the very core of what happened that day.
I hope it touches you and reminds you that on that day, so very very long ago,

He came.
He came for you.
He came for me.