Sometimes the need to write is so strong inside of me, that I open up my site, click on “new post” and place my fingers on the proper keys on the keyboard, fully anticipating some great flow of words will spring forth from my brain to my fingertips and onto this page.
You’re welcome for the longest. sentence. ever.
It’s as if I can feel all of these words inside of me. It’s the strangest sensation – one I’ve never experienced until about a year ago. It’s this constant churning, this constant feeling, that I need to write. But there are just days I sit down and I can not, for the life of me, string five words together. I know there are words in there – thoughts – things I want to share. I feel this churning and yet nothing to write. And I feel incredibly sad. It’s as if life just gets in the way and numbs my brain to the words my heart wants to say.
This year has started off to be one with lots of unexpected twists and turns and hurdles. All of which has left me feeling a bit tired, a bit out of the loop of normal life and well, a bit off in my own personal goals and dreams.
Writing– the book, the blog, the journal–happens these days in whatever spurts I can grab. I find myself looking for those moments – those small increments of time – so I can just pour my heart out, share a new thought I’m chewing on, write more in my book, talk to Jesus. I miss the steady time. These last two months have been so very “word-dry” for me.
I don’t like it.
So, this site will be probably quieter than normal but I promise, to all ten of you, that when I find those words again, I’ll write.
I have to.
It’s burning a hole in me.